Feb 1, 2010


Dear Husband developed, since we married, a severe case of ‘don’t-know-how’. He forgot how to cook, how to do laundry, how to put laundry away, etc. Even though at times (all the time) I find that insanely provoking and it makes me want to cause bodily harm, all it takes is a girl’s night out for me to be thankful. Thankful that DH is patient, supportive, sweet, communicative and willing to put up with my never ending family drama.

The fact is I am thankful that I am not out there, single anymore and having to peruse through the seriously slim pickings. I hate the fact that I have become one half of a smug married couple like the ones Bridget Jones feared, but I hate even more the fact that the many lovely single ladies that I know are out there being victimized by the overwhelming amount of dickheads, women haters, douchebags, arrogant, classless jackasses that roam this earth.
I like guys. I do, I think they are refreshing in their honesty; you don’t have to dig for the truth or worry about insulting them by saying the wrong thing like it happens way too often when it comes to women. But what in the world is happening to them today? I think I had forgotten how they all seem to have escaped from the horrid pages of that disgusting book written by Tucker Max “I hope they serve beer in hell”.

There is no escaping them! I was listening to the radio the other day and one of the DJs was talking shit about women and how he always likes to fuck the ugly ones because they know better than to be clingy. I was so outraged that I almost swerved off the road. The thing is, being pretty doesn’t protect women from their behavior either.

I had to take a refresher course on “elbow to the solar plexus” and “withering glances” last Thursday when my cousins came over from D.C. and my sister, my two cousins and I decided to go to ladies' night at the bar below my work place. Now, I really have no idea what I had expected since it is ladies' night and alcohol is free and men seem to know that night is the night for them to get lucky, but I was surprised at how bold and obnoxious men can be.

Whatever happened to asking one to dance instead of shoving their crotch on one’s ass? Whatever happened to an introduction before you grab my arm and pull me, or show up with a drink I neither want, nor asked for?

I know I already discussed this a few weeks ago, but I had to again since I have the experience fresh in my head. Since when my standing dancing with four other girls gives a man the right to approach me from behind and start humping me? As satisfying as it is to shove my elbow as high as I can up his ribs, as satisfying as I find it to hear them gasp in pain, the fact is I am left with a sense of dissatisfaction at not being able to give them a proper set down.

They all seem so incredibly normal and decent too! None of them seemed drunk, or leery, or disgusting, or lecherous, just your normal, horny twenty-somethin early-thirties loser who thinks he is Casanova.

So what happened to them? Is it the bad guy syndrome? Do they really think that act is attractive? I don’t need poetry being spouted but how about a smart line? Hell any line at all would be preferable than just shoving your dick at me, regardless of how attractive my butt is (because it is) it is still MINE, not public property to rub against.

It has gotten so bad that we even avoid making eye contact so they don’t take it as an invitation to fuck. We were ignoring this guy for so long he ended up having to pull one of us and then we realized it was the waiter! I made the silly mistake of asking a guy to take a picture of all of us and then spent the next five minutes trying to shake his slimy paws off. Short of kneeing him in the balls I couldn’t have been any blunter! I even pointed at my wedding band (which I have never done till that night) and told him to go take a hike and the fuckhead had the nerve of saying “Well your husband isn’t here is he?” And more nerve even to be annoyed that I wasn't flattered. Since when did they all start assuming they are God's gift to womenkind? Assholes!!

I was saved from committing assault by one of my cousins who pulled me away and saved the jackass from me. I am sure he was left with the impression that he had me and the only reason he didn’t get anywhere was because of my intervening cousin.

Men, I have discovered, are horribly deluded. What happened to those days when all a girl had to do was roll her eyes and the guy would take the hint? Now not even using the cuntiest face will save you from being accosted. If wearing skirts bellow the knee and glasses doesnt protect one anymore then what else is left? What does one has to do to get some respect around here? And since when demanding respect makes you a bitch?

I have been reading lately a lot of historical romance and there are two types of men in the books I read. The ones who would force themselves on an unsuspecting female simply because they can and their title afforded them with complete immunity, and the ones who wouldn’t.

It’s disappointing to think that men haven’t changed that much, the only thing that protects us women from being assaulted today is the law. It's sad to say so, but I think I think that most men wouldn’t stop at “No” if the law didn’t protect us from them. Men whose principles are nonexistent and their immediate needs to be fulfilled their only worry seem to be everywhere, and the thought is disheartening. It’s like they think our presence in a club, bar or any place where music and alcohol is present it’s a tacit consent for them to do as they please with our body parts!

It is a sad state of affairs indeed, when one thinks about it. I am sure some would blame it on female’s search for equality; some would claim that we wanted to be treated like men so we are treated like men. I never asked to be treated like a man, I do expected to be able to hold the same position as a man, receive the same salary as a man and have the same rights as a man, I don’t know how wanting my rights to be respected as any other citizen of the world needs to translate into “go ahead and grope me”.

I don’t expect men to stand up when I enter or leave a room, or for them to defend my honor when it's brought to question, to fight in duels at dusk for my virtue, I don’t expect to be treated like a delicate flower about to wilt.

We ask for very little, how about some common courtesy, some respect, some acknowledgement that our personal space is ours? How about showing some fucking manners? Do you guys really think that you are closer to getting any by acting like a jackass?

Believe me, you may be getting some but whoever you are getting it from happens to be as trashy as you are.

So let me be blunt and summarize:

  • No, I don’t want that drink you probably roofied. No means No.
  • I don’t like your “eau of douche” so stop bathing on it, the entire place can smell the cheap cologne.
  • Yes, I am dancing, yes I am standing, and it doesn’t mean you can rub your crotch on my ass.
  • No, I really don’t like you and no, that doesn’t make me a bitch.
  • I really meant it when I said I am here just to hang out with my girls so back the fuck off.
  • Yes, I am bitch. Whatever you wanna call please just do it far away from me.


Anonymous said...

Now I should ask: is this a "men" thing or a "men in the US" thing?
In other words is it the culture here in the US or this is the prevalent behaviour even in Venezuela or Colombia these days?

Mel82 said...

I wouldn't know anymore. I haven't been in either Colombia or Venezuela since I left 8 years ago.

I was 18 when I left so the "men" I frequented weren't really men but boys.

I don't think it has anything to do with culture and everything to do with gender, because the times I've gone to a hispanic club the same thing happens.

I was thinking the other day that maybe it's our own damn fault. Women too act horribly when they go to clubs, as if all standards and modesty was an unnecessary burden. Maybe it's our fault men treat us the way they treat us, they aren't used anymore to women demanding respect and boundaries.

If men get used to women acting like porn stars every time they are at a club then they will assume we are all willing to behave like that. If they get used to going to a bar/club and seeing 20 girls showing their tits for "fun" then they start thinking all of us woman are willing to show our tits for a glass of rum and coke.

The thing is I cannot go to a bar or club without seeing bare asses and tits from at least 5 girls during the night, so if they think we don't respect ourselves then why would they waste time respecting us?

Anonymous said...

... so maybe it's a "women in the US" thing. I have noticed that women in the US tend to have lower self esteem (than LA women) specially in their relation with men.
They don't know how to balance their femininity and sex appeal and still command respect from men. Instead they tend to throw themselves at them (eg. flashing tits) appealing to their sexual instincts and hoping they would still be respected in the end. They don't know when and how to keep their distance.

No saben darse su puesto.