SOMETHING IN COMMON, WHO WOULD’VE THUNK IT?!

I have for the first time since my arrival found something in common with the average American woman. My experience with American women is very limited, I admit. I am (I truly am I swear) allergic to drama, I hate scenes, and crying, jealous ranting and catty gossip (regular gossip I like just fine) and women in general (regardless of their nationality) are a dramatic and watery bunch, so my life has been usually filled with male buddies who are carefree and reckless, fun and usually 100% drama free.

As much as I have enjoyed the few American young women of my acquaintance (I have been blessed with all of them being generally easy going) I've noticed that we are completely and utterly different from each other. We are so different that I couldn't help but assume that our differences were cultarally based. Our reactions to situations have always been so opposite and the way they confront people so dissimilar to mine that I always thought our differences were inescapable and that we had nothing in common with aside from a love of shopping, Nora Roberts, Harry Potter and Friends.

So it came as a true shock when this morning talking to my brother about his love life I discovered that I do have something in common with American women! It was so nice to find something after years of complete and utter bafflement with my fellow women in the U.S.

My dear brother (whose body has been partially returned by the alien who took over) was telling me about the woman he is currently seeing, against his own will. His date, a sweet 20 something was told at the beginning of the budding relationship that he was not interested in having a girlfriend at the moment and he has found himself, regardless of this categorical statement, with live-in girlfriend. The woman has practically moved in with him since Monday and he is too much of a pussy gentleman to tell her to take her dog (yes, she moved in with Fido) and vacate the premises.

As I listened to him asking me for advice I was struck by the similarities of her attitude and mine because my now dear husband (whom I met the day he broke up with his girlfriend) gave me the same speech, he had just ended a relationship, and he wasn’t ready to get a serious girlfriend, yadda, yadda, yadda. All I heard while he told me this was blah, blah, blah. I am ashamed to admit that when he delivered this heartfelt speech to me I thought to myself that if I was ready for a relationship then his feelings of not being ready were not an issue (horribly selfish I know) and that once he got to know me there is no way he would not want to be my boyfriend (what can I say? I am a cocky bitch, we all have our flaws). I was lucky that my confidence paid off and after calling his bluff (as he called it) we ended up seriously dating.

This girl's apparently using the same strategy of look-at-what-fun-we-have by being with him all the time and showing him how much fun and easy going she can be, but she is campaigning too strongly by staying at his place for so long. I would stay at my dear husband’s place and even though I wanted to stay I would insist on leaving until he had asked me to stay at least three times. It’s a game we all play and I needed to make sure he really wanted me there because I am not the sort of woman who sleeps with a man who is also sleeping with someone else and can be cool about it. I am the kind of woman men are exclusive with and if they can’t then I simply remove myself from the picture because I don’t do drama, I don’t like scenes but I would deliver a fucking Broadway show if I have to share my man (I feel like snapping my fingers and saying ‘that’s right’ while bobbing my head).

I felt horrible for the girl who apparently wants my brother enough to camp in his house without an invitation but I gave him the trick on how to get rid of her and to stop being so nice to her. And to her I would recommend to read the book that is in the picture above. The movie sucked but the book is so true is almost brutal.

As I wished him luck (believe me he’s going to need it) I was selfishly concentrating on the fact that his awkward situation was like a little gift to me. Because while he is struggling to remove this tick girl from his household I was given a glimpse of what I hope is more common ground between me and my womenfolk in this awesome country I live in.

Apparently overconfidence is something some women are stricken with, regardless of their color, religion or nationality. I gotta say, that common ground makes me happy.

I’ll tell you later how happy is making my brother.