Dec 28, 2009

THE NEW YEAR'S ASS KICKING FROM YOURS TRULY

I can safely say that in the twenty seven years of my life I have never, even once stuck to my New Year’s resolutions. At least not the whole lot of them. One year I did stick to one of them and lost a lot of weight and ended up 109 pounds of bony chin and clavicles (so unattractive) and another year I did finally learn how to drive (yeah I was 25 when I finally did it but the point is I got it done). Those are the two things I’ve stuck to. I haven’t ridden my $450.00 bicycle each weekend as I promised myself I would last year. I didn’t stick to my vegetarian diet (I did last 9 months, so yay me!) I didn’t learn how to play piano, or guitar, violin. I didn’t take ballroom dancing lessons and I didn’t try to learn Japanese or French.

I am a quitter, I must say. It is so extremely difficult for me to stick to stuff I don’t readily enjoy. I enjoy riding my bicycle but I enjoy more staying in bed and reading novels. I do love animals enough to become a vegetarian but it takes so damn long to cook meatless dinners! I would love to learn to do the quickstep and I’ve always dreamed of playing the piano. But I fear that the piano might take too long to learn and I don’t have the dough to spend on dancing lessons.

Nevertheless I am determined. This year is the year of the new me. No more half assed attempts, no more no-can-do, no more excuses. No more rationalizations. If I want to learn how to play the piano then I won’t get myself the $120.00 pair of shoes but the $30.00 option instead (Eeek) I guess I could stop spending $60.00 on haircuts…sigh. I guess I can stick to my guns. I will see results. As God as my witness I won’t be lazy anymore!!I’ll try my best to not be lazy anymore! ... I’ll make an honest attempt to not be too lazy I'll make an effort!! (Oh God, I can’t even commit on paper!)

No, I will not give in, damn it! Next year is the year. Next year I will:

  • Write no matter what or how badly every single day.
  • Show Dear Husband how much we love him.
  • Take Zoey for longer walks.
  • Finish the immigration paperwork.
  • Become a vegetarian…or pesco-vegetarian since I am not giving up sushi (I don’t care how much PETA wants to call fish the kitties of the sea) and don’t quit just because of the holidays.
  • Go bicycling with BT each weekend and exercise most days because she is getting married and I can’t let her down with her very important goal of losing 20 pounds before the wedding.
  • Use the Rosetta Stone to learn French at least 4 times a week.
  • Use my yet to be paid treadmill at least 3 times a week.
  • Be a nicer person (I always miserably fail with that one)
  • Volunteer at animal shelter (yes, sometimes they kill the animals, but stop being a pussy!)
  • Learn to play piano or guitar or both.
  • Try to be nicer, be diplomatic, not to hang up on, don’t murder tolerate dad.
  • Stop being such a smug, superior and snobby know-it-all.
  • Read less and practice hobbies that involve other people aside from me.
  • Get a hold of viper tongue.

Like Julie, from the movie I saw Saturday, I think I should set myself some timeframe. Since I don’t have A.D.D. as an excuse reason to not finish anything then it should be easier for me. I should have finished at least 2 of the 3 books I’m working on. I should at least know how to play some songs in the Piano by July. I should at least know how to say “I need the bathroom and can I have more beer” in French by April and I should have lost at least 15 pounds by July with my new pesco-vegetarian diet and exercise.

So prepare yourself 2010! Come hail or high water, no matter how much my comfy blankets reel me in. No matter how much I want to eat a piece of meat, no matter how lazy I feel or how pissed off I am I vow I will get up and bike, I will not lay down for 6 hours straight and hole up with a book (too often), I will not eat cute cows, pretty piggies or charming chickens! I will be active, I will, if it kills me, swallow the meanness and be nice.

So help me God.

4 comments:

Adriana said...

I support you cousin!!! i do!!!! go Melo, go Melo, go, go, go, go!!!!!

Mel82 said...

Lol, thanks. Support is necessary for that list. I think the "being nice" is the hardest one of all.

Adriana said...

viper tongue, as in the sex toy? or as in the piercing? lol

Mel82 said...

Viper tongue as in "lengua venenosa" im trying to be nicer and not be so scathing and mean