In this post I will discuss the dangers of driving in Florida
Danger No. 1: The ever present snow birds, which almost always are way too old to drive and sometimes even turn onto oncoming traffic.
Danger No. 2: Drunk or hungover club rats.
Danger No. 3: Lazy/Stupid Fauna, which includes the following: Ditzy squirrels, escaped cats and dogs, too fat to fly ducks, slow raccoons and opossums, angry gators, misplaced coyotes and once in a while the random black bear, a deer or two if you are driving north and the scarce Florida Panther.
Danger No. 4: Canadians who actually respect the traffic laws and don’t know how to drive around all the crazy Hispanics. The other North Americans that aren’t Canadian have learned to survive us and drive like us as a form of self preservation. If you can’t beat them, join them! (I’m looking at you Dear Husband)
Danger No. 5: ME!
That’s right. I am danger number 5. I am now legally roaming the Florida roads because dear reader, yours truly finally has a driver’s license. Hooray! Woo Hoo!
Not only do I have a driver’s license but after four years of saving I own my little adorable Mazda 3. Not the Bank, not the dealership, but Me, I, Moi! YO!! I own it. My very own car with my very own driver’s license. *Insert victory dance*
I probably was the only 30 year old who took that driving test today. They actually announced over the speaker system in the DMV when the first timer’s got their DL. They were all gangly, pimply faced and sixteen. I was so grateful they didn’t announce my sorry ass over the speaker, being a 30 year old first time driver is kinda weird.
During the driving test the lady spent the entire time scolding me for driving with one hand (how am I going to use turning signal without letting go of the wheel?) and scolding me for talking back like she was my mom. She then told me that I passed the test but that I drove like a “latino”. She would know since she was Venezuelan from Caracas and people in the capital drive like maniacs.
It still feels weird to drive, even though I legally can and I know how, I still feel unsure, I guess cockyness will come with experience, right now I drive super carefully and afraid of everything on the road.
Another thing to celebrate is that I actually don't look bad on my DL pic, a Christmas Miracle!
Anyway, Florida drivers beware!!