HATE AS FLATTERY

Dear reader,

The time is here, the time I had been waiting for. No, I haven’t gotten my papers, or my interview. Nope, I haven’t heard anything from INS yet, another moment in my life has arrived that I have been waiting for. My first angry, hateful comment was posted yesterday. Woot! Woo hoo!

I ain’t gonna lie; I find it extremely flattering that my writing angered someone enough to spew the little bit of hate he did on my comment section. I have been writing this blog on and off for so long I thought all I was going to get was positive comments from the three strangers that are not family members that read my blog. I was a bit disappointed, I must admit, because I’m supposed to be writing about a controversial topic after all. I mean there is nothing like gun control, abortion, homosexuality, taxes and immigration to get people riled up in this country. So when I started the blog, I thought I was for sure going to get some hateful emails, insulting racist comments, etc. To my surprise all I got was support, from those I know and from those I don’t know. One time even a pastor made a positive comment about my writing and all I could do was blush thinking of all the times I had cursed in that post or said the Lord’s name in vain. I also had someone ask me for permission to use my words and lyrics since he was music major.

But, as they say in show business, good publicity, bad publicity is all publicity; the moment finally came when someone said something hateful. I, of course appreciate so much more those readers who have said they feel like I am telling their story, the reader who said I made him/her cry, the reader who wished me luck and those who praise my writing. But there is something so damn satisfactory about knowing that somewhere, someone’s blood is boiling because something I said. The written word is so powerful and I couldn’t help but grin like a fool when I read the comment I got today.

“Fuck all spic wetback bean eating fuckers yours truly Michael”

Dear, sweet Michael who is not familiar with a pesky thing like punctuation.

So, in honor of my first hate comment I have this to say to Michael, wherever he is:

Michael, I respect your use of the word fuck, I myself use it profusely as a verb, slang and adjective. I have never understood what the word spic is and I have yet to find it offensive. Probably because I didn’t hear it until a couple of years ago, but that word holds no power over me. Nice try though.

Wetback is another word that I am not completely sure if it applies to me or not. Is it just applied to Mexicans who cross the Rio Grande? Are their backs wet because of the wet river or because of sweat after the dusty trail crossing? Maybe is applied to all immigrants regardless of their nationality and way of arrival to this country? (Mental note to research this further). In either case it doesn’t apply to me because I came via American Airlines Caracas-Miami and even if I had been brave enough to cross the Rio Grande I am sure I wouldn’t be wet all the way to my back because I think it the river is now mostly dry, and if it’s wet from the heat then that doesn’t apply to me either because even with the most strenuous cardio I do not sweat, I glisten. It’s very pretty, all rosy cheeked and shinny.

Bean eaters…again, how is that offensive? Beans are delicious! Black, red, pinto, all kinds, and they are an amazing source of protein for a vegetarian like me. I am a bean eater… I love beans…damn, now I’m thinking I should have a shirt made that said “Bean eater fucker” except the writer in me couldn’t live with that poorly structured sentence emblazoned on a shirt.

Fucker…yeah I am a fucker, I love fucking, fucker, fuck, fuck, fuck…so I guess that makes me a fucker….You are right, Michael. I am a fucker.

Now that I deconstructed the “insult” I am feeling kinda depressed, what kind of haters am I attracting? Maybe I am a two bit blogger since I had to wait so long for my first hate post and it was so lame.

Come on Michael, you can do better than that. I dare you.

I showed Dear Husband the comment when we were out today, shopping for food before dinner, I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. Maybe I have inappropriate reactions to meanness, maybe I shouldn’t be as happy that someone out there feels this way, but it is so silly, so aimless, so ignorant and half assed a comment that really all I could do was smile, smile because somewhere, someone read my post and stewed enough about what a said that he had to say something, and positive or negative, even if he hates me and everything I represent, the fact is he commented, he “lead with the chin” as Sadie from All The King’s Men did. He showed his weakness and in doing so he made my day and gave me the power.

Thank you, Michael and happy holidays to you.