Mar 22, 2011


I wish there were happier news to read than Libya being bombed, the food in Japan being full of radiation, Knut the polar bear’s sudden death or the fact that Charlie Sheen’s show has sold out in all cities.

But alas! Here were are, almost done with March and bad news keep pouring in. DH and I had a wonderful weekend, however, celebrating two years together of legally bumping uglies, I kid, we celebrated two years of our love…sigh. We have been together for four years and it feels like it was just yesterday when he told me I had cankles and we exchanged phone numbers. Romance was in the air that night.

We had a fun day of sun at the beach where we baked like lobsters and the water was perfect for the visiting Canadians (a balmy 65) and the sharks kept us out of the water for most of the day (not kidding). I am, thankfully back to being an attractive toasty color and not the yellow pastiness I have been sporting for the better part of a year. We also went to a comedy show where we laughed until we cried and came out, amazingly, with a sense of having learned something.

If any of you, my few faithful readers, has the opportunity of seeing Christopher Titus standup comedy, seize that chance and have a blast. If you aren’t easily offended that is. The man is a genius and so full of energy one is left reeling and hurting in the abdominal area. I felt like I did 100 abs after we came out of the show and for that alone I like Mr. Titus.

Sunday, we went to see the Marlins kick some spring-training ass belonging to the Mets and then back home to pass out from sun poisoning and happy we had each other to rub cold aloe on our leathery backs. Basis for an awesome marriage right there!

Two days have passed since the sixty days cut off for us to receive the letter giving us a date for our interview. I found it kind of fateful that the cut-off date was the date of our anniversary. Dreams of Hawaii drift faster and faster away, but what is there to do but wait? I never believed I was going to be able to go, but I am sure when they all board the plane that will take them to paradise I will be home, beating my head against the wall and being a bitch to all around me. I actually feel more badly for DH who will feel too guilty to go without me (by that I mean I will kill him if he leaves and goes without me).

This shit (I am tired of calling it a “situation” or “my circumstances”) has turned me into someone who I am not really proud of, an angry (angrier) person, a bitter woman with no hopes left about her future and what it will bring. I have come to resent all the people I know that get to travel. I have never been an envious person.

Envy is in fact, the only cardinal sin (greed, vanity, lust, wrath, sloth, gluttony and envy for those non Christian friends) that I have no understanding of. I understand feeling and committing all the other ones, but envy has always been in my opinion the worst of those sins to commit. It seems so petty and dangerous, so ugly a feeling. The fact that I am rolling in envy, swimming in it, every time I see some friend’s picture on Facebook in Italy, or France, or London, makes me ashamed of myself. Hell I am okay with being a greedy, glutton, vain, prideful, lustful, lazy bitch, but I will not be an envious one!

So, DH is going to abuse our lawyer a little bit today and find out why he isn’t doing his job, why we are still waiting, why we haven’t been interviewed, why I am seating here with nothing to show, legally speaking, after two years of marriage.

I can’t wait for this shit to be over, so dear husband and I can take a deep breath and plan for the future, move from Florida, buy a house with a yard, get another dog, travel the world, etc.

In the meantime I will remind myself that I am alive and well, healthy, hot and in love so there is nothing for me to really complain about. I am not Knut, I am not in Libya, or in Japan or related in any way to Charlie Sheen. That is truly something to be thankful for.

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