MARCH MADNESS AND OTHER AILMENTS

March Madness is over. Praise the Lord and thanks the heavens! Sadly the Butler Bulldogs are not the National Champions. My household is now in mourning. DH is from Indiana and a fervent Butler fan and losing the National Championship to UCONN is a blow to what had been so far an amazing season. I rather concentrate on the fact that they made it this far, that they made it to the final four twice in a row, a feat accomplished not only because of the talent and determination of its players or the amazing skill of their cute as hell coach, but because DH wore his Butler shirt all month without ever washing it. Save me from superstitious sports fans.

I won’t lie, I like March Madness, I like basketball (college basketball) the fast pace of the game, the last minute winning, the promise of greatness from such young people, the tall, tall guys… So of course I was rooting for the Bulldogs, although my reasons have nothing to do with sports and everything to do with the fact that I have a huge crush on Coach Brad Stevens. Who I must say is the walking, breathing, living image of that female fantasy of a take-charge nerd. Meowrrr, Grrr, and yum.

When I came home from work and went to shower DH closed the door to our room and kicked Zoey and Max (cat and dog) out to “do ab work”. While I showered I was sure that in reality he was on his knees praying to the Basketball Gods for Butler to win. Apparently the Basketball Gods weren’t listening, and so March Madness end in a sad note for Butler diehards who so wanted to see Blue walk around court strutting his stuff in front of all those Husky fans.

I have seen ONE full Butler game. Last year during March Madness we were in St. Augustine celebrating our one year anniversary and had more drinks than I care to count at awesome Scarlet O’Hara pub while watching the game. After that I was emotionally invested and decided for the sake of DH not to watch future games with him.

See, Hispanic people don’t do anything half assed and I don’t know what it is but sporting events bring out the worst in all people regardless of gender or nationality and it brings the fucking loud out of Hispanic folks.

Poor DH was a witness to this when we saw Spain (go my mother land!) kick Germany’s ass at the World Cup’s final game. He was amazed that we were so loud and that I was jumping up and down about something that had nothing to do with fashion or Harry Potter. That’s why I don’t watch the games, once I am emotionally involved and invested on the team there is no fan that would love them better and no fan that would scream louder than a Hispanic one. I get nauseous and scream, get cold chills and depressed if they lose. It is better for my (and DH’s) mental health if I just find out what happened after the fact.

As much as I enjoy sports, on those seldom occasions when I give a damn about the teams, I cannot claim to comprehend this country’s obsession with sports.

As soon as football season is over (I hate football with a heated passion) here comes March Madness and March Madness ain’t over yet and Baseball season is already here, then baseball season is over and hell in the form of football shows up again. There is no end to this, is just a never ending cycle and circle that repeats, over and over again, ad nauseam and ad infinitum. Kind of like the never ending torture of Dante’s hell. And for those few who do not like those, there is always boring ass Golf and Tennis (which I discovered I was partial to when I discovered Australia’s Patrick Rafter back in ’98).

Back at home we have baseball (in Venezuela) where the fans are crazy as you can get and I used to not talk to my best friend as soon as the season started. In Colombia we had futbol and in its coast at Barranquilla (where I am born) when the Junior plays (our football team) there is no class, there is no work there is only Junior. That’s it. Either baseball or football.

I guess is a sign of both U.S. excesses and also its diversity that makes the entire year revolve around sports. It’s not like other countries that have futbol, or curling or hockey (if Canadian, who are the only people that should like Hockey). Americans must have it all, baseball, football, baseball, hockey and more.

I actually am writing this post while DH screams downstairs. I wrote this post with the assumption that Butler would win and I will have to change the first paragraph if they don’t. He is at the moment screaming obscenities (charge mother fucker, charge!) at the teams. I hope he doesn’t read this post and then blames me for his team’s loss since I jinxed it by writing that they won before they did.

As much as I enjoy basketball and coach Brad Steven’s glass-wearing hotness I am glad March Madness is over because I will finally have the TV to myself for a couple of days and will catch up to my DVR’s of Glee, Bones and Fringe.

When there is no Brad Stevens in sight there is always Mr. Shuster, Peter Bishop and Seely Booth.